Day by Day

(Still JP)
Anne has had a pretty good day today, but was sick a few times last night and this morning (some morning vomiting is expected daily). Has had less drink and no food, but remained alert most of the day and received 3 visitors. Also her brother Jan is arriving tonight.
We thank people who have sent flowers but ask you to restrain yourselves, as there are already more than a lot.
Thanks again for all your moral support.

PS: Nicole, the manufacturer of Anne's green "boubou" seen on the top photo, is one of our guests now here.

REPRIEVE?

JP writing:
Anne has had a good week, all things considered. She is still very weak, but is experiencing less pain and nausea, and has been enjoying the company of some old close friends who have been staying with us. She has been drinking more, but is still mostly unable to eat.

We are glad she has maintained more alertness by choosing to use less sedation than planned, as the new dose of painkillers seems to be doing the trick.

She is looking forward to seeing her brother Rick who arrives tonight. We want you all to know that she is comfortable, happy and well surrounded.

We will try to post regular updates.

Bowing Out

JP again here:
A few weeks ago, we were all hoping against hope that Anne would be given a chance by fate to pull through. She was encouraged by us, and had maintained a positive attitude throughout the ordeal, as you all know from reading these chronicles.

Around then, one day when I bid her good night and added “get better, love”, she answered: “I’m not going to get better. This is something we just have to deal with, and it’s no use kidding ourselves”. She also expressed her wish that, when the time came, she did not wish to be kept alive by artificial and invasive means, and we all supported her in this.

Even so, our take was to hope for a period of relative comfort and stability that might last for some time. The latest change, last week, from multiple daily painkiller (and other) pills to a hydromorphone pump, was expected to provide some effective relief from increasing pain and nausea. However, on Friday, Anne became nauseous to the point of vomiting everything taken in, even water – and this has continued the whole weekend. She feels the time has come.

She is starting sedation this evening, and is expected to slip into less and less consciousness in the days to come. The doctor expects she will be gone within two weeks.

While she, and all of us appreciate help and sustenance from loved ones, we feel that this is an important time for the family to be alone together.

All the gestures, food, messages of love and support that have flowed in this past year have helped Anne and the rest of us immeasurably. Thanks to you all.

We will keep you posted.

Electronic confusion

JP here.
A scam was sent out in my name again (Facebook greeting cards - jpginestier has sent you happy holidays ...)
However, yesterday I did send out a real letter attached to an email with subject January 2011.

New Year Blog

(This is JP):
Anne is not too keen to be writing. She is resting a lot, and is more circumspect in her choice of activities.

Yesterday there was a positive development: she had been in much pain for the 2 prior days, and had just had her third really poor night. However, the palliative doctor came to see her and decided it was a good time to switch from her painkiller pills to a morphine pump, and last night she had a deliciously long and pain-free sleep. (She has also given up most of her other pills too, with his blessing). Today has been very good, but she does have nausea - apparently a known side-effect of the morphine, for which she does have injections available, but wishes to hold off a bit to see if it will subside on its own.

She is now also enjoying a hi-tech air mattress, just delivered, thanks to the community care people.

We have had a lot of support from good friends, family and neighbours over the last while, and more visits are planned for January, some now beginning to stretch into February.

We continue to take each day one at a time, and to enjoy life as much as we can, savouring the good moments and good experiences, which are plentiful.

Christmas post

Hi all,

Eric here. Anne has asked me to update the blog as she hasn't been feeling up to it lately. Feel free to comment, however, as she does use her computer regularly and enjoys hearing from you.

Her days are up and down now, and it's difficult to predict how she'll feel from one hour to the next. Happily, she has plenty of good moments, but there are hard times too. It's important to have a lot of family time these days and Christmas has provided the occasion. Miriam has been here for a week now, helping take care of Anne in a big way and being that much needed breath of fresh air. They've spent some time making beautiful Christmas decorations out of paper, and Miriam has helped make aspects of Anne's care much more efficient. Rick is here now too, also helping to round out the picture and raise our spirits with his profound kindness and sense of humour. Viva has most recently arrived and made a warm situation even better.

There's not much more to say except that Anne is receiving excellent care at home now, with daily visits from the nurse and weekly from the doctor. We wish our friends and loved ones everywhere a merry holiday season, and encourage the use of this time to connect with the important people in life. All the best!

Christmas in our sights

These days my low energy makes me spend much of my time in or near my bed, except for trips to the North York General Hospital where I get drained, and the odd other hospital visit. However, I have a doctor who visits me at home once every 2 weeks, or more often if necessary.

For the past couple of weeks, I have been concentrating on getting stronger - after a drain I have two to three days when my appetite is good, my capacity is at a maximum, and I eat all the full fat food that I can get my hands on. By day four though, the liquid has built up again and I can only eat in bites here and there. Starting the week after next, I will be going in for 2 drainings per week, hoping to be more comfortable.

JP bought me a wheelchair last week so that now I can contemplate leaving the house. I had hoped to go to one of his Christmas choir concerts, but nearer the time I realized that I was too tired to be in one place for a couple of hours at a go. I have been out in the chair for a brief shopping, so it does help.

Miriam was home for a couple of days this week, and she and JP's sister (also here for a visit) shopped for a Christmas tree for the living room. We spent an evening making decorations, as all of ours were taken to Alabama years ago. Miriam's new rule is that we use only items that are already in the house - no purchases other than several strings of lights. We have made lots of white paper snowflakes, foil icicles, and cutouts from cards and boxes. The prettiest result was from some old dried and faded Chinese Lantern flowers that she has slipped over yellow and orange lights - they mute and spread the color, and the light that shines through, highlighting the delicate veins, is just beautiful.

Next week, Miriam is back, then Rick, then Viva, all staying over Christmas and New Year’s. We are all looking forward to it!